Genetics

My work can be a little draconian at times. Like when you want to use chat software, or you want to check outside email, or you want to surf porn on a blackberry... so I was happily surprised when I went digging through our proxy auto-config and found out that the Chicago proxy is a lot more permissive. Now, I'm the last (or second-to-last) person to ask for advice on networks about, so I have no clue how I managed to switch over to the Chicago proxy, but I did. And I'm happy. Well, happier, still can't check outside email.

But there are people around, so I can't test out any illicit sites. Instead I have to have some code up on my screen so that they think I'm working. I'm about 2 weeks ahead, which is about the limit of what I can anticipate, and I've been banned from helping people (it's not my fault I can do their work in a fraction of the time it takes them). So I'm messing around with one of my micro-projects.

Genetic Programming.

It sounds so deliciously geeky. Slap the label "genetic" on anything and it sounds like you wear a lab coat while you do it. See?

Genetic Resequencing - Definitely requires a lab coat
Genetic Programming - Requires a lab coat
Genetic Disease - Your doctor needs a lab coat
Genetic Reverse Cowgirl - In a lab coat? Awwwwww yeeeeeeeeaahhhhhh

Anyway, this stuff is pretty cool. I've got it writing methods that actually work, now I'm working on having it cull unnecessary parts out of the method.

Track/Stream: Silence

mom. so you and lynda will be here next week.
me. yeah
mom. you?re not... engaged, are you?
me. no, of course not
mom. well, I don?t know. that?s what I thought, but one of coworkers asked, and you?re a secretive person...
me. well, I?m not married
mom. ok... are you going to ask her while you?re out here?
me. no
mom. alright, alright, I?m just asking. were you thinking of january or february.
me. yeah, somewhere in there
mom. so you?d get married next fall?
me. no, I think it?ll be the following spring.
mom. so an 0-7 wedding
me. yeah
mom. ... you?re not married already, are you?
me. of course not. I think I?d tell my own mother when I?m getting married.
mom. alright, just checking

New York's Finest

Walking into the train station I saw, for the first time, police officers checking people's bags. Honestly, I know we're supposed to be all scared of "Terrorism n' Stuff"©, but this is ridiculous.

I want to "fight back", but I don't know an appropriate way to do it.

I could complain to the cops. This really doesn't accomplish anything. They're just following orders. I am pretty sure they don't want to check for illicit items in everyone's bags.

I could resist the cops. Best case scenario... I can't take the subway. Worst case scenario... lockdown.

I could subvert the cops. I don't know how effective this would be, but it could be hugely. The idea is to bring a bag with a lot of stuff, so they grab you and have to spend a few seconds. Then, while they're searching (or immediately afterward) ask them why they became a cop. Say whatever you can to draw them in, then drop hints that make them see that this isn't why they joined.

I could take my transportation business elsewhere. I don't think this is economically viable. Plus, I doubt some MTA exec is going to say "oh shit, Paul isn't riding the subway anymore. We're doomed. Dooooooooooomed." and I really can't see many New Yorkers doing this.

Sigh

A Modern Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a handsome young prince. This prince had been invited to a celebration thrown by the wise king and beautiful queen of the land.

The prince could barely contain his excitement. He decided that, as a show of gratitude, he would prepare a course of home-made french fries to go with the king and queen's barbecue.

The party began, and the prince regaled everyone with his french fries, to great success.

Unfortunatey, an evil enchantress named Cuervo was also invited to this party. Secretly, during the party, the enchantress Cuervo cast a spell over the young prince. This enchantment prevented made the prince act in funny ways, and made the young damsels of the land look more attractive than they actually were.

Suddenly, on one of his trips to the castle kitchens to retrieve more food, the prince accidentally spilled some of the oil out of the fryer he was using to make the fries.

In his enchanted state, the prince wanted to make sure nobody would slip, but he didn't want to actually clean up the mess, or tell the king or queen so they could do it. So instead, the enchantment caused him to pour salt all over the kitchen floor, hoping this would prevent people from slipping.

Eventually, the king and queen entered the kitchen and realized something was amiss. When they realized the floor was covered in salt, they assumed it had been an accident and cleaned it up properly themselves.

The prince saw the king and queen working hard to clean and became enraged, because they were cleaning up the mess he had worked so hard to create. Once the king and queen finished cleaning up, the prince took the salt and poured it all over the floor, to re-create this mess.

The king and queen saw this and gave up for the evening. After the party they went to sleep and cleaned up Mike's.... uh.... I mean the prince's mess the next morning.

Damn prince.

Plans A, B & C

So I've got a couple plans:

Plan A

I will write blog entries on my phone when I feel like it. I will be more vigilant about uploading these entries upon arrival home. At that point, or possibly later, I will review, edit and stylize my posts (such as adding interesting links). This will keep my blog updated.

Plan B

I will go to Macy's to buy a new shirt (coffee was spilled on the one I'm wearing. I haven't made any arrests, but my leading suspect is my left hand. He had the motive and the means) in preparation for a fat-cats night tonight. Afterwards, I will seek a cigar store; again in preparation for fat-cats night. Finally I will browse some blogs I like. This has nothing to do with fat-cats night, but I want to do it and it doesn't warrant a plan of its own.

Plan C

World domination.


It's important to note that these plans are in no way exclusive of each other. For instance, plans A and C could be combined to great effect. Or plans B and C. Or pretty much any plan and C.

My Blog is Back (Hey Na... Hey Naaaaaaaa My Blog is Back)

It has indeed been a month and a half since anything was posted, and I have decided to try to get back into the swing of things. This absence has been due to the following reasons:

a.) I moved in with Lynda and we completely redecorated

2.) I started a new job which I don't feel comfortable blogging from just yet

D.) I'm lazy

So I come back with 2 things of note to blog about. First of all, we got our tickets for San Francisco. I grew up in Berkeley and want to go visit the 'rents and all. We've got a huge list of things planned:

• Pier 39
• Fisherman's Wharf
• Alcatraz
• Coit Tower
• Exploratorium
• Golden Gate Bridge
• Sailing under the Golden Gate Bridge
• Santa Cruz
• Top Dog
• A bunch of other stuff I can't remember

We will have some spare time, so if I know you, you're in the area, and you're not on my shit list, give me a ring/email/homing pigeon/whatever and we'll hook up.


Second, we got the coolest outfit for Lynda from Purple Passion. It's made by Lip Service, and most of their stuff is kinda kinky. This is no exception. We got the "Achtung Playtime Funnelneck Coat" and oh baby, this one is going to be fun. We even picked up a riding crop to go with it. We need to get it altered slightly to tighten the snaps and find some boots and a matching bra. We also hit the first sale I've ever seen at Toys in Babeland (apparently they changed their name) and got a ton of loot.

I swear we're not taking it to California though.

Well, not all of it...

franz ferdinand - take me out

something pissed me off in the subway this morning. this guy comes walking along putting up ads for some business (i have no idea what, it was in spanish). he was obviously some schmo who is doing what he is told, so I didn?t say anything to him. however, I did wait until he had moved into the next car and went around and removed every ad he put up, crumpled them and put them in my pocket. for my trouble I actually earned a round of applause from the other people on the train.

on another note, I really like this blog app I got for my shiny new phone (no thanks to the 'rents). it lets me write my blog entry on the train. the next time I get service it automatically posts the entry. then I go clean it up when I get home. spiffy.

Titty-Bar Studies (New York Dolls)

Today is the final day of my employment at this "establishment" (I use the term loosely). In celebration, John and I went to New York Dolls (I promised Chris I wouldn't use his real name).

This is the first time I've been to a titty-bar in a long time, and certainly the first time during the day. I have mixed reviews.

On the one hand, it was interesting to be there when the place was almost empty (which is a miracle given that it's Fleet Week). The strippers were pretty much all lined up against a wall chatting amongst themselves.

On the other hand, it really sucks to get so much attention from so many strippers, especially knowing all they want is your money for a 30 second lapdance. About every minute we were approached by a new girl with pretty much the same offer (except for the once we were approached by an 8 foot giant who offered backrubs, but we don't think she was really a girl. At least, not originally).

Back on the first hand they do serve liquor, but back on the second hand that means they can't go nude.

My final verdict is the it's a place that delivers exactly what it advertises: slightly busted looking, plastic dolls.

2:30 PM on Fridays at New York Dolls - Not Worth It

Next week I'll review 2:35 PM on Fridays at New York Dolls

No Purpose In Life

I'm kinda pissed off today. Friday is my last day and the only reason I came in today was that I was supposed to be launching a new version of one of my applications. Otherwise I intended on calling in sick with Leprosy or The Plague.

Instead I came in, fed my addiction, and waited for the launch at noon. Around 12.15 I thought it was a little odd that nobody had said anything to me, so I found the PM who told me that it was postponed until Wednesday.

We have these launch windows that we can only do a launch during. Otherwise we might hit storm systems, or the guidance systems might fail, or something might actually work. You know, things we wouldn't expect.

So there was no reason to come in today.

Another Red-Letter Day

It's been another day of excitement.

I pretty much played Chuzzle for 4 hours this morning, went to lunch, then played Chuzzle for another hour.

Then I discovered something amazing. My Blackberry's web browser is perfect (though a little slow) for perusing websites one handed that are blocked by our content filter at work.

So I spent the next couple hours browsing porn on my Blackberry. I think this is why they're issued.

After all, they do say that porn necessity is the mother of invention